Sadistic Vs Sparkling
by BleedingHydrangea005
Summary: Dumb idea I had as a young and stupid me. Poorly written to be honest, but for lovers of Vocaloid and the song "Sadistic Vampire" Or those who find sparkly vampires annoying as their squealing fangirls, maybe you'll find this one-shot relatively amusing. I suppose I have. T to be safe. I own nothing here (contains references to other anime vampire characters)


(AN: To all anti-twilight/Len Kagime fans! Enjoy)

We stood, face to face. In the dark forest of Forks, Seattle. Rin stood behind me. She had her "_Anti-sparkle_" gun locked and loaded but I could smell her fear and feel her shivers. She was scared. "Don't worry Rin." I said softly. "I know you can handle yourself, but if anything goes wrong. I'll make sure you stay safe, no matter what. Even though I was about to face a fight to the death, I ignored fate for a moment to turn around and kiss Rin so deeply and passionately like never before.

"I love you." I told her.

"Be safe Len, don't do anything rash." she pleaded in a whisper.

I nodded and kissed her forehead. Then I faced my challenger once more. He had white skin. Like the cream part of an Oreo. With the same amount of strength. His eyes were yellow, like a lemon and bloodshot. He was sorta-muscular, but not in an attractive way. His hair was bronze-ish and in the most ridiculous style I had even seen. It didn't even look like he washed it. He wore a t-shirt and jeans. Obviously trying to blend in, but not doing a very good job. His name was, Edward Cullen.

Oh my god! This guy is _such a pansy_!

I've already killed all his family, the volturi and every other dumb-ass sparkling git in this area! And every time I tried to fight him, he'd grab his brainless human girlfriend twit _and run away_. Like some little kid. Rin and I had chased this sparkling, emo vampire insult around for weeks. All the other vampires who wanted him dead (Alucard, Zero, Kaname. Etc.) Had cut off the town exits. Now it was up to me. "You can't run anymore cullen." I hissed. " All the exits are blocked off. You and your twit human girlfriend have nowhere to go. _I'm going to kill you and get this over with_." I snarled. "I'll show you what I real vampire is." I bared my fangs as my cloak flew behind me in the breeze. "When a sparkling vampire meets a sadistic vampire. _The sparkler has no chance_." I said angrily.

Edward put his hands on his sides, and laughed cockily. "HAHA! YOU HAVE NO CHANCE YOU CHILD. YOU'RE GORGOEUSE SINGING VOICE AND ATTRACTIVE BLUE EYES, ALONG WITH A SENSIBLE, CLEAN HAIRSTYLE AND A COOL 19TH CENTURE GET-UP CANNOT SAVE YOU NOW! YOU WILL SUFFER THE MIGHTY WRAITH OF THE MIGHTY EDWARD CULLEN. YOU'RE GIRLFRIEND MAY BE SMART AND INDEPENDENT AND NOT A USELESS AIR-HEAD, BUT I CAN TAKE ATVANTAGE OF MY GIRLFRIEND AS USE HER AS A HUMAN SHEILD! BWA-HA-HA!" he laughed madly.

"Oh Edward." Bella sighed from behind him. Obviously unaware of the mortal danger they were in. "You're so sparkly and gorgeous and smart and pretty!" She giggled. Drool poured out of her mouth like it was Niagara Falls (ew.) She really was that stupid. (And here I though Rima and Shiki _were kidding around_ when they told me!)

Edward kept on ranting "THE SPARKLING VAMPIRES ARE THE ONES WHO SHALL DOMINATE! FEAR ME LEN KAGIME! I AM FOREVER YOUNG AND HOT! EVERYONE THINKS BELLA AND I ARE SEXY AND AMAZING.

YOU MAY HAVE DEFEATED MY FAMILY, AND THE VOLTURI AND LET ALL MY WERE-WOLF ENEIMES LIVE, BUT YOU WILL NOT TAKE ME DOWN SO EASILY! I SHALL-" At this point, I was sick of listening to his constant bragging. I flew forward, grabbed him by the neck and shoved him into tree. Causing the tree to sway and the snap. " Damn you cullen. That's enough talk. I'm going to kill you now! I threw him against a boulder and it shattered. He stood up and smirked. "Yes Kagime, let's fight." He let out a furious and rather stupid roar and ripped of his shirt. Revealing a unpleasantly hairy chest that I could not believe, Bella found attractive. The sun passed over a cloud and he began to sparkle like a pile of glitter. "I'VE GOT YOU KNOW KAGIME!" He roared. I rolled my eyes. This was gonna be easier than I though.

"RIN! USE YOUR ANIT-SPARKLE GUN NOW!" I shouted. Rin pointed her gun at Edward and pulled the trigger. "Eat this, sparkly faggot!" She snarled. Edward was then

covered in a translucent-blue-goo. And his sparkles disappeared instantly. "NOOOO! MY SPARKLES! I AM NOTHING WITHOUT THEM!" He cried. I flew at Edwards' throat. Now came the fight to the death! I was in a tight spot….

HA! AS IF! I took Edward down in 2 seconds. It was like tearing up a cotton ball.

Within seconds, he was in pieces on the ground. I set fire to the pieces. I finally got rid of the fool. And without a scratch too. I put my arm around Rin and we walked off into the sunset like in the old movies. "C'mon Rin, lets go get some sake`." I smiled. We walked off in the background. Only hearing our laughter and Bellas' cries.

"NOOOOO! MY LOVE! MY ONE TRUE LOVE! WHO WILL MAKE SURE I AM A WORTHLESS DEPENDANT TWIT FOREVER AND EVER!" Rin turned around, and whipped out her gun and shut-Bella up for good.

"See, this is why Rin is my sweetheart! She knows just what I want!"

( AN: It's about time Twilight ended :DSADISTIC VAMPIRES THAT DON'T SPARKLE KICK ETERNAL BUTT!)


End file.
